Impenetrable Fog

The past couple of months have been a haze. It feels like everything has run together. I spent weeks in the hospital as a patient and now I’ve spent weeks at the hospital watching over my daughter. It’s been exhausting and emotionally trying. 


What’s surprised me the most is my reaction to rejection. 

I used to check my email obsessively after querying or around contest winner announcements. 

I’ve been so worried about my daughter that I didn’t even think about writing. During the last part of my pregnancy, I was too sick to think of much at all. 

Today I received an email about a contest I’d entered. I honestly had to sit and think about the piece since I couldn’t remember what it was. 


A little over a week ago I received another email from an agent letting me know they were passing on what I had sent them. I sent the query so long ago I’ve written multiple revisions since then and I also had to think about who it was.  It was around a year ago.  I’d figured her rejection was silent. 

There have been times where receiving a rejection letter could really make me have a hard day. I suspected that during times like these it might make me sad. Instead I suppose I’m too exhausted to feel anything about them – I’m in an impenetrable fog. I look forward to normalcy and writing again (or at least a new normal). I hope that’s sooner than later. When that happens, I’ll probably take the rejections harder again.

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